


Bridge of Beltin'

by Kilgamayan



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Comedic "Violence", Gen, Superheroes (Sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 03:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3234569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kilgamayan/pseuds/Kilgamayan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friend of mine frequently takes requests for short writing prompts, often involving Touhou. Since she always spends her time writing for other people, several months ago, I offered her the opportunity to request something of me. She asked for "Sanae ruining someone's day." This short piece was the result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bridge of Beltin'

“So, y’see here? There’s a patch of soil where them mushrooms grow more often.”

 

Parsee gave a low whistle. This particular mushroom patch was far larger than what one would normally see in the winding tunnels of the surface entrance to Old Hell. Normally she’d pay that annoying bucket no mind, but she had to admit that the bucket had struck gold this time. Metaphorically, anyway.

 

“Nice find, kid.”

 

Kisume beamed with pride. “No one better at this than me! Though Yammer’s no slouch either.”

 

“Have you tried any of them yet?”

 

“”Yeah, I had one! It was really good. If’n you want to try one for yourself, go ahead, we’re all family here.”

 

Parsee pursed her lips. “We’ll see. I guess I am a bit hungry.”

 

“Do whatcha gotta go! Hey, can you guard those real quick? I’m gonna scout around the area, see if’n there are more patches nearby.”

 

“Sure, sure.” Parsee waved distractedly as the bucket bounced off, leaving a “Man, what a score! I’m even greater than I thought I was.”

 

_For an annoying bucket kid, she’s a really good forager. Grr, I wish I was this good at finding crops down here…_

 

The bridge princess stared at the admittedly-very-tempting mushroom patch for a bit in silence. Eventually, she reached out and picked a larger one, studying it up close.

 

_Well, she did say I could have one. Might as well…_

 

Parsee opened her mouth.

 

“Halt, evildoer!”

 

“Huhwha-what?”

 

Parsee looked around in surprised, and spotted a pair of unfamiliar girls flying her way. The lead one, a human with long green hair and a blue-and-white shrine outfit, was pointing at her with a determined expression on her face. The other one, a teal-haired, heterochromic karakasa, was lagging behind and looked like she would rather be anywhere else in the world than right there. The human spoke; apparently the first voice was hers.

 

“You there, thief! Don’t think you’ll escape the justicular wrath of Omega Green!”

 

Parsee frowned. “What the hell?! What are you blathering on about?”

 

“U-um, Sanae…I don’t think she’s-“

 

“Power Para! I told you not to use that name while we’re out fighting crime! Now come on, we have a wrong to right!”

 

The karakasa gave a whimper and shrank back into herself. The human turned her attention back to the bridge princess, jabbing her finger once again.

 

“I saw how happy that poor green-haired child was to have found those mushrooms! I won’t let you take them from her!”

 

“What is your malfunction, you loon?! Kisume said I could have one. Just leave me alone and go play in Old Hell street traffic or something.”

 

“A likely story! Fine, if talking won’t work, I’ll just have to beat the light of justice into you! Ready to go down, ne’er-do-well?”

 

Parsee gritted her teeth in anger. “Oh, you wanna go? Bring it!”

 

The whackjob shrine maiden smirked and took on a fighting stance. A muffled “Uh oh…” came from the direction of the karakasa. Glancing over briefly, Parsee noticed that she had covered her face with her hands. Before she could have time to think about it, though, the shrine maiden started flying toward her.

 

_Damnit, this is the last thing I needed. All right, gotta lead with something…let’s give Shrine Visit in the Dead of Night a go._

 

Parsee pulled out a spell card. “Malice Sign! Shrine Vis-“

 

The bridge princess snapped out of her internal gameplanning just in time to see the shrine maiden was already upon her – and bringing down her gohei, straight down between the bridge princess’s eyes.

 

_Krack!_

 

Parsee fell to the ground, grabbing at her forehead from the sudden immense pain. From somewhere nearby, she heard the karakasa shriek.

 

“San-er, Omega Green! What are you doing?!”

 

The shrine maiden examined her handiwork for a moment, then nodded in satisfaction.

 

“Yes, Power Para, I think that will do. Listen to me well, scum! I hope you have learned your lesson about stealing from small children! Never forget that justice always prevails!”

 

Parsee, not yet being able to fully comprehend the words she was hearing over the sound of pain, could merely hiss in response. The shrine maiden turned around to leave.

 

“Come, Power Para. Our job here is done. To the next crime scene! Omega Green, away~!”

 

And with that, the two took to the air and departed, the karakasa leaving a “Sorry!” lingering in the air.

 

Parsee groaned and sat up after a few more moments, rubbing her forehead. Checking her palm, she was relieved to not find any blood. Still, she could tell her head was going to ache for a while.

 

The bridge princess suddenly became aware of a familiar _thunk-thunk-thunk_ sound in the air. Kisume was returning.

 

“Yo, I found Yammer, and she-WHOA! Shit on a stick, what happened to you?”

 

Parsee looked up to find a familiar blonde earth spider had joined the bucket. The concern was evident on her face.

 

“You okay, Miss Mizuhashi?”

 

Parsee glared at the newcomer. “What do you think?”

 

Kisume then pointed to the ground next to Parsee. “Hey, I know there’s a lot of mushrooms here, but I didn’t say you could go wastin’ ‘em like that.”

 

Parsee looked at the ground where the bucket was pointing. The mushroom she had picked had been dropped and mashed in the very brief skirmish.

 

The bridge princess groaned again.


End file.
